Things that shouldn’t have been cut out of the Harry Potter Movies: ST FUCKING MUNGO’S HOSPITAL FOR MAGICAL MALADIES AND INJURIES
This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material
"I think I’d most like to spend a day with Harry. I’d take him out for a meal and apologize for everything I’ve put him through." J.K Rowling.
Happy Birthday, Jo! Thank you for existing and creating the amazing world all of us love and will cherish forever! (July 31st, 1965)
lms if you’re a 90’s kid and remember columbus coming to america
- "salad in the wind"
- "have you’ve quite finished yet"
- "define girlfriends"
- "does anyone else hear running water"
- "sorry love but I don’t really care"
- "happy days"
- "NO NO NO”
- "will it be as deep as your voice"
- "fucking shit bastard you did that shit I did that good"
- "chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in Parma ham with a side of homemade mash"
I volunteered at an animal shelter yesterday and while I was hosing down the dozenth dirty dog kennel I thought to myself “why am I doing this without pay again?” and then I walked into the room with like 15 kittens in it and they all started meowing at me and I was like, yes, that’s why
50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”