"sorry i didn’t respond to your text i was disenchanted with the entire human experience," a thrilling new memoir by me
dad and mom
treat or trick
josh and drake
cheese and mac
stop that thank you
jelly and peanut butter
George and Fred
white and black
Juliet and Romeo
This is the most uncomfortable post on tumblr
The scariest thing about this post is that I couldn’t work out what was wrong for a good minute until I read them aloud because my brain automatically read them in their correct order
a christmas themed porn movie called “it’s beginning to look a lot like fistmas”
Really tumblr? A fucking “joke” about a religious holiday celebrated by billions in the world? It’s really disrespectful. Also glorification of porn? Not only it displays submissive/dominant interactions in sexual exchange, it also underrepresents asexual individuals.
Looks like someone didn’t get any fistmas presents this year.
So apparently in my sister’s class, there was a trans girl that had been on the cheerleading squad for a while. When she came out, the other girls on the squad made the agreement that whatever boy made fun of her would never get a date. And if you think that’s not the most metal girl alliance ever, you can sit down.
Wow, 500 notes
Girls protecting girls.
GIRLS PROTECTING GIRLS
So when boys want to wear tank tops, it’s okay, but when I want to do it, it’s indecent and my shoulders are going to give every boy in a 20-mile radius a boner?
if your underage and its a professional environment, wear professional clothing. women have sexual organs on their top half, men don’t, don’t you know biology??
breasts aren’t sexual organs and neither are shoulders do everyone a favor staple your hands to your ass
Happy 28th Birthday, Ryan Jonathan Kelly (August 31, 1986)
Just passed a group of bros in the parking lot. They were all wearing snapbacks and muscle shirts. As I passed I heard their conversation. The one bro was arguing, “Naw man, Dumbledore was a terrible caretaker, he literally sent kids into fucking death forest for detention. Messed up man.”
a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost
rock fan: rap sucks, they don’t talk about anything that matters
the beatles: I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob